Another day, another doctor

colitisman — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:27:44 +0000

So yesterday I went to see my Gastroenterologist, I’ve had a lot of trouble with my now permanent ileostomy since surgery on November 13th of 2009. I seem to be catching everything under the sun, I’ve had 3 stomach bugs since surgery and unfortunately this past one had me throwing up bile and on the verge of going to the ER..AGAIN. I’m so frustrated because the explanation for all this is my weakened immune system after 10 years of being sick and now recovering from that as well as 6 surgeries. I know that my doctors are doing all they can and giving me tips on what to do, like rest, wash my hands, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I love my doctors, they have saved my life on multiple occasions, and believe me, I understand that when I catch a bug it’s something I need to ride out, or if more serious treatment is required they always step in; it’s just so aggravating when NOTHING else can be done. Again, I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t love and respect ALL my doctors, I’m just drained and exhausted both physically and mentally after these past 10 years. I”m finally trying to get my life on track again and it’s like I”m waiting for my body to catch up. Part of me feels ready to get out there and go back to the way things were before I was even diagnosed but the other part realizes that right now that isn’t feasible.

I’m filling my time with many things to try to keep my mind off my recovery, I guess thats one of the biggest reason I’ve started this blog and am now determined to make more videos about dealing with this horrible condition. There are many people living out there that deal with Ulcerative Colitis or Chron’s that live next to normal lives, but there is a small population that have it as bad or worse than me. However being 24 and KNOWING I’m going to have a colostomy bag for the rest of my life, I can tell you, isn’t the most comforting thought. There are so many more aspects to dealing with a chronic illness, even if it’s not UC or Chron’s, people with cancer or ANYTHING else that falls under the category of a chronic illness knows that normal for them isn’t what society deems normal, and thats a hard pill to swallow.

I desperately want to get back to some semblance of a normal life but I have to come to terms with the fact that the first hurdle is acceptance and getting things back on track after being in a 10 year fog isn’t going to be easy. Sure I’ve tried to live somewhat of a life for the past 10 years, going to school, being social, doing any number of activities, but so much of that is a daze, I either can’t remember every detail or I don’t WANT to remember. So much of that time, I would say 80-90% of it was spent thinking, dealing or being in the hospital related to my condition. Please don’t misunderstand I’m not looking for sympathy, there are SO very many people out there with way worse problems than me, just look at the recent quake in Haiti or any number of people living in third world countries that if diagnosed with something similar or possibly not even as bad, could have died a long time ago. This is just MY personal journey and my thoughts and feelings along the way.

I hope everyone out there is well and my goal is to make people more aware of the small percentage of people who have to deal with UC as bad as it can be. Please write me with ANY questions you might have and I’ll be happy to answer them.

Thank you to everyone for their support, my family, friends and of course my doctors. Without any of them I wouldn’t be alive today.

Peace,

Living with Ulcerative Colitis and an Ileostomy

Another day, another doctor